这一个月来，不断地催眠，催眠自己是可以的，是坚强的。。。有曾想过，尝试的恨，可恨不了，尝试的忘记，可我深深知道它还在内心某个深处。许多人的劝告，忘记他吧，放下吧，或许他在拥抱着她，把自己交托给主。。。。！！！！ 直到近来，开始尝试释怀这一切，一切交托予主；课业都多多少少被影响，不如自己的预期。。。。。。
一个月了，我也以为我们都在恢复中，伤痛在减少中。。。但，又一次深深地觉得心疼和受伤。。。
在半个钟前，崩溃地哭了。一路以来，不曾减少对他的关心，都在暗中地浏览他的facebook,friendster,和blog。这也成了我的每日必备的功课。终于近来，为了课业，尝试不去关心，浏览任何有关于他的一切。可不知为何，刚刚竟看了“布洛克”。他竟贴上了新的一页，因他不曾贴上任何的日记在那一页之后。在读着的那刻，心跳加速，害怕的不知会是什么。看了，哭了，泪又流了，不停的，崩溃了。。。为何呢？何必呢？那问题又一次次的重复，为何呢？为何要如此呢？心疼着你可又很受伤着。。
不能呼吸，再一次掏空自己。 不止是你，我何曾不是每天都带着面具做人？特别是在父母面前，真的是强颜欢笑，背后珠泪暗弹。。。
Everyday, praying for healing of us. Let it handle by God, lead me on the way he planned for us. 不知前面如何，我都会为着你和你家人祷告，让他来平复这一切的一切。。。。
Psalm 42-43 (BOOK II)
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My should thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can i go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
These things i remember as i pour out my soul:
how i sued to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore i will remember you from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers have swept over me
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
My Savior and my God.
Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.
You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?
Send fort your light and your truth, let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
Then will i go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
 | Hannah Ford - Psalm 42 |  |
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 | Found at bee mp3 search engine |  |
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