Hm........it seems lose touch with my blog for while....
In summary, about me for the past month including happy, sad, worry, confuse, ambivalence, (Up & Down)....mixture feeling
in the mid to end of Nov, fully focus on my study - the final exam of my life, might be. Spent on most of my times on it, esp BF. I was damn upset as i thought i gonna to be failed in the final paper. I didn't felt good as in short of time to manage to finish the last 3 questions, and it required of exam paper need to be passed in order to pass the whole unit. I couldn't release my tense at those few days after it. Been summer classes, just to precaution. To relax myself, and thus, i decided to take a short trip back home to visit my dear friends In SG & KL. I don't know still if this short trip was helpful or not.
Anyhow, i finally met my dears who i never met and not yet to meet each other for about 2 years plus. Ethan, he is such a lovely, adorable baby... oh my god, i wondered to bring him home with me. =p Sharon, she is one of my dears. Someone who i don't meet each other often but we're still stay close, understanding each other. This is what we called it "BF". And those, what we called it "Hi-Bye Friend", is to tell the person through cover of the book, never to be seek the truth and trying to understand in person. "眼见不尽为凭，耳听不见为真". The best way, to leave them alone up to their believing. Explanations are not important to them either, so, don't waste time on it. Why don't enjoy myself in a positive conditions. Fact is always the principal to tell the truth and tell peoples.
December, is about now. I really excited and i knew that i passed the paper which i upset of the exam paper. Also, i am graduating.....Really glad & happy of the effort put in it and outcome as what i wish to be. God is doing his work and plan me ahead.... Thank you Lord!!
Sometimes, i would like to prefer alone... to be alone while enjoying watching, listening and so.... keep myself lose touch with anyone, only in a space where belonging to myself. I think, perhaps, it is not a bad suggestion. Too tired to stay in argument, explanations, self-defensive. ..........Want to get a calming & happily life....
Wishing 2010 is a better year ahead. Sending off 2009, not a good year to me ...
Thursday 17 December 2009
Friday 13 November 2009
Emotions VS Hormone
Emotions are uncontrollable .... easy get into impatient way as Hormone changing, terrible i know...!!Felt depress once a while at the noon.....
Pre-natal melancholia, i think i would belong to this kinda group of people one day...
I don't want, i don't willing to be this way... no ideas, just cant control it, maybe i just want "sayang"....but ...
might be , it was right... ... it shouldn't be this way... In rational, in realistic, should not be together, feeling is not everything...
She is right, no one can change anyone if the person come with these... even me... isn't it? no solution... no solution without one need to change.... seeing it is hard gonna to be....
before it gonna be worst, shouldn't think twice?
been years... nvr better.. maybe it is because that the earth is round and round.... really tiring.... i think the best way is .... to... leave me alone forever....
Anyhow, have to love myself more =)
Pre-natal melancholia, i think i would belong to this kinda group of people one day...
I don't want, i don't willing to be this way... no ideas, just cant control it, maybe i just want "sayang"....but ...
might be , it was right... ... it shouldn't be this way... In rational, in realistic, should not be together, feeling is not everything...
She is right, no one can change anyone if the person come with these... even me... isn't it? no solution... no solution without one need to change.... seeing it is hard gonna to be....
before it gonna be worst, shouldn't think twice?
been years... nvr better.. maybe it is because that the earth is round and round.... really tiring.... i think the best way is .... to... leave me alone forever....
Anyhow, have to love myself more =)
EXAMS!!
Exam period~~~~!!!! November...
Extremely in hoping and it gonna be the last fight!! hohoho, i just can't wait, can't wait to get on stage and stand there to take my certificate front of peoples...!! :P ****cross finger**** praying hard on this...=) bless me my friends whoever read this then...
Gonna be the hardest one, and i will try to do the best. I leave it to God and he decide..By the way, thank you so much my dearest Father Lord, gave me such a great "gift" before the exam - scored the highest marks =D. I really excited of this and keep my smile on face =) ~~~~ at least, i feel less stress now. After exhausted for a couple weeks, this result really fantastic and injecting a faith onto me!!
Maybe little excitement and let me still awake now ;p have to force myself get in a nice sleep.... to get a start of revision...
**** cross finger ****
Extremely in hoping and it gonna be the last fight!! hohoho, i just can't wait, can't wait to get on stage and stand there to take my certificate front of peoples...!! :P ****cross finger**** praying hard on this...=) bless me my friends whoever read this then...
Gonna be the hardest one, and i will try to do the best. I leave it to God and he decide..By the way, thank you so much my dearest Father Lord, gave me such a great "gift" before the exam - scored the highest marks =D. I really excited of this and keep my smile on face =) ~~~~ at least, i feel less stress now. After exhausted for a couple weeks, this result really fantastic and injecting a faith onto me!!
Maybe little excitement and let me still awake now ;p have to force myself get in a nice sleep.... to get a start of revision...
**** cross finger ****
Wednesday 28 October 2009
欢笑疗法
看报道，美国医疗机构正向癌症等长期病患提供各种欢笑疗法。 专家表示，欢笑能降低血压，改善呼吸，促进氧气循环，加强肌肉功能和减轻压力。
因为，上帝设计人类要笑。喜乐有益身心，因为这是上帝向我们所定的旨意。（参帖撒罗尼迦前书五16至18）
若患绝症，失业，失恋，家破人亡。。。。。。痛苦没顶，笑不出来，这么办？
这时，更需要笑，因为现实已经够苦，苦心里也苦，便是苦上加苦。
委屈笑不出来怎么办？说到底，人的尽头是死，有什么值得欢笑？
是的，所以主耶稣说：“要因你们的名记录在天上欢喜." (路加福音十20）不必为世事大悲大喜。一切都如镜花水月，很快过去。除非有永生，除非有天堂，人没有希望。
所以，主耶稣又说：“人若因我辱骂你们，逼迫你们，捏造各样的坏话毁谤你们。。。。。。因当喜乐，因为你们在天上的赏赐是大的。” （马太福音五11至12）要看得远，要看到天上，这样才笑得真，笑得久。
--- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- ---- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ----
After read this, will try to learn and smile/laugh. I need strength from you, pray for wisdom as well. ... .. gotta burning out from these studies....
- 伊利洛州Zion的美国癌症治疗中心直接教病人大笑。
- 非盈利的“医疗欢笑”组织 (Rx Laughter) 用谐趣影片娱乐协助病人控制疼痛和促进心理健康。
- “世界笑声之旅” (world Laughter Tour) 训练欢笑俱乐部领导人，过去两三年美国约有20 多家医院要求提供训练。
因为，上帝设计人类要笑。喜乐有益身心，因为这是上帝向我们所定的旨意。（参帖撒罗尼迦前书五16至18）
若患绝症，失业，失恋，家破人亡。。。。。。痛苦没顶，笑不出来，这么办？
这时，更需要笑，因为现实已经够苦，苦心里也苦，便是苦上加苦。
委屈笑不出来怎么办？说到底，人的尽头是死，有什么值得欢笑？
是的，所以主耶稣说：“要因你们的名记录在天上欢喜." (路加福音十20）不必为世事大悲大喜。一切都如镜花水月，很快过去。除非有永生，除非有天堂，人没有希望。
所以，主耶稣又说：“人若因我辱骂你们，逼迫你们，捏造各样的坏话毁谤你们。。。。。。因当喜乐，因为你们在天上的赏赐是大的。” （马太福音五11至12）要看得远，要看到天上，这样才笑得真，笑得久。
--- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- ---- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ---- --- ----
After read this, will try to learn and smile/laugh. I need strength from you, pray for wisdom as well. ... .. gotta burning out from these studies....
Tuesday 27 October 2009
失落感
一丝的失落感，当一道消息悄悄帘入眼中，真真假假，是是非非。。。
一切都该恢复正常，不是吗？
一字一句，都是需要勇气去接受，放开怀抱地接受。。。。。。
亲爱的朋友，祝福你，希望快乐能再次降临在你的世界 :)
All the best....
一切都该恢复正常，不是吗？
一字一句，都是需要勇气去接受，放开怀抱地接受。。。。。。
亲爱的朋友，祝福你，希望快乐能再次降临在你的世界 :)
All the best....
Monday 19 October 2009
Clips of the day
Today, browsed few videos that have been posted on some website. Couple of them caught attention of my eyes. I love the production, the ideas, and the music. They are perfectly fixed to the video clip. Hence, i would like to share with everyone here.
This prewedding film described a true story of a couple. How a guy go after his dream girl from tough to soft, from like to love; he won her heart eventually.... is a sweet film, nice, touching (i think because of music... lolz)
Here You are ... ....
This is the video clip of their wedding day. How touching ... how sweet...what a blessing & happiness wedding. I feels that God did his work ...:)
If any of you thinking of take video for your day, i would suggest this website . Take a look at it and if you are interested. They are located at Sydney and i would not say strongly recommend. Because, i like it only based on what i saw from it and do your own inquiry with them for further interested.
In term of business, i guess it would be a trend .... pictures are great, but video worth more of meaning ... and differ experiences...haha...
This prewedding film described a true story of a couple. How a guy go after his dream girl from tough to soft, from like to love; he won her heart eventually.... is a sweet film, nice, touching (i think because of music... lolz)
Here You are ... ....
Pat & Ley Cinematic Prewedding Film "Bubble Tea" from Paper Cranes Productions on Vimeo.
This is the video clip of their wedding day. How touching ... how sweet...what a blessing & happiness wedding. I feels that God did his work ...:)
Pat & Ley Cinematic Wedding Trailer from Paper Cranes Productions on Vimeo.
If any of you thinking of take video for your day, i would suggest this website . Take a look at it and if you are interested. They are located at Sydney and i would not say strongly recommend. Because, i like it only based on what i saw from it and do your own inquiry with them for further interested.
In term of business, i guess it would be a trend .... pictures are great, but video worth more of meaning ... and differ experiences...haha...
Thursday 15 October 2009
a thought
一些人，一些事，选择性的忘记。。。这样生活就会简单了吗？或许会，也或许不会。。。 但是明确的是，记忆力变差了
No matter how, follow your way, your feeling to do it so... make it simple..
Stay happily and enjoy it...
No matter how, follow your way, your feeling to do it so... make it simple..
Stay happily and enjoy it...
Thursday 1 October 2009
Slack + Sick ??
Times are quick.... early of October and year of 2010 just around the corner. Another 10 years...
How many of us and how many 10 yrs in our life?!
Passed a blissful and blessing birthday... passed 2 times of 10 years and sooner it gonna to be another 3rd 10 yrs of my life... cant believe so... haha.. anyhow, uploaded some pics on the day and here is the link : Birthday Collections
No celebration, no planning, no cake, no much on mind for the day of the year. BUT, i enjoyed the day with good friends, family....
I supposed to do my journal and assignments now. Too slacking.... What's wrong? looking at the calendar which pasted on the wall and in front of me.... what i going to be after these? seems there is not any target on the road for me yet... kinda losing the way...
Today, feeling sick, weak body, no motivation, slacking, ambivalent, Am i gonna sick or just psychological moment? everywhere of body feeling sore, sore throat and dry, brain working slow.... i counted it as slacking....!! :)
Got onto bed early last night but almost late to work. Wonder why so tired? is my body trying to transmit some messages to me? body alert? lolz....I reckons that i need to take more care about my health.
Anyway... need to find my drive back and move on with the workloads....
How many of us and how many 10 yrs in our life?!
Passed a blissful and blessing birthday... passed 2 times of 10 years and sooner it gonna to be another 3rd 10 yrs of my life... cant believe so... haha.. anyhow, uploaded some pics on the day and here is the link : Birthday Collections
No celebration, no planning, no cake, no much on mind for the day of the year. BUT, i enjoyed the day with good friends, family....
I supposed to do my journal and assignments now. Too slacking.... What's wrong? looking at the calendar which pasted on the wall and in front of me.... what i going to be after these? seems there is not any target on the road for me yet... kinda losing the way...
Today, feeling sick, weak body, no motivation, slacking, ambivalent, Am i gonna sick or just psychological moment? everywhere of body feeling sore, sore throat and dry, brain working slow.... i counted it as slacking....!! :)
Got onto bed early last night but almost late to work. Wonder why so tired? is my body trying to transmit some messages to me? body alert? lolz....I reckons that i need to take more care about my health.
Anyway... need to find my drive back and move on with the workloads....
Sunday 13 September 2009
野火烧不尽，春风吹又生
一天一夜前，一些事情又来不断地干扰莫名的情绪。还真的是“野火烧不尽，春风吹又生”。。。 。。。
其实，很多事是可以很果断，但都没有做任何的决定。面对不同人的要求，请求， 犹豫不决。。。 。。。 为何在这么多事发生后，还来这套？真的没有答案 ............
所以，对你的问题，暂且搁下，拭目以待。。。 。。。总之， 对于你们的问题，一切交托予祂。。。
出奇的是，心情不如意想中的波折，无措。。。 哈哈。。。 maybe it's what we called that to believe in Jesus's strength =)
其实，很多事是可以很果断，但都没有做任何的决定。面对不同人的要求，请求， 犹豫不决。。。 。。。 为何在这么多事发生后，还来这套？真的没有答案 ............
所以，对你的问题，暂且搁下，拭目以待。。。 。。。总之， 对于你们的问题，一切交托予祂。。。
出奇的是，心情不如意想中的波折，无措。。。 哈哈。。。 maybe it's what we called that to believe in Jesus's strength =)
Wednesday 2 September 2009
CHANCE
CHANGE - A new Change... is not about chances.
September - My lovely month of the year and is about time to pamper myself. I wanna to get a new phrase and refreshing myself for the following months throughout the year.
A change is about from head to toes. HAHAHA.... Of course, i need a hair cut that i never tried before - Short hair. Some clothes, jackets, skirt, dress, boot, shoes, scarf... well... totally change a new style of ME.... Not only to change the outlook of me, but also the inside of ME.....=)
This is not bad for trying... hahaha.... BUT, i really don't get used to it - Short Hair!!! A picture as below showed that how i looks like in short hair, and post more later days... :P
By the way, i found a song really great in the meaning of "change". It gives me the spirit of Christianity, as well as, highly encouragement & keep me with the strong feeling to shout out :"I WANT to CHANGEeeEee!!" I love the melody, and with guitar; esp the ending and the starting of the song!! oh YES!! ^^
Change - Taylor Swift
and it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
somebody else gets what you wanted again
you know it's all the same, another time and place
repeating history and you're getting sick of it
but i believe in whatever you do
and i'll do anything to see it through
because these things will change
can you feel it now?
these walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
this revolution, the time will come
for us to finally win
we sing hallelujah, we sing hallelujah
so we've been outnumbered
raided and now cornered
it's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
we're getting stronger now
find things they nver found
they might be bigger
but we're faster and never scared
you can walk away, say we don't need this
but there's something in your eyes
says we can beat this
tonight we'll stand, get off our knees
fight for what we're worked for all these years
and the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
but we'll stand up champions tonight
it was the night things changed
do you see it now?
these walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
it's a revolution, throw your hands up
cause we never gave in
and we'll sing hallelujah, we sang hallelujah
hallelujah
September - My lovely month of the year and is about time to pamper myself. I wanna to get a new phrase and refreshing myself for the following months throughout the year.
A change is about from head to toes. HAHAHA.... Of course, i need a hair cut that i never tried before - Short hair. Some clothes, jackets, skirt, dress, boot, shoes, scarf... well... totally change a new style of ME.... Not only to change the outlook of me, but also the inside of ME.....=)
This is not bad for trying... hahaha.... BUT, i really don't get used to it - Short Hair!!! A picture as below showed that how i looks like in short hair, and post more later days... :P
By the way, i found a song really great in the meaning of "change". It gives me the spirit of Christianity, as well as, highly encouragement & keep me with the strong feeling to shout out :"I WANT to CHANGEeeEee!!" I love the melody, and with guitar; esp the ending and the starting of the song!! oh YES!! ^^
Change - Taylor Swift
and it's a sad picture, the final blow hits you
somebody else gets what you wanted again
you know it's all the same, another time and place
repeating history and you're getting sick of it
but i believe in whatever you do
and i'll do anything to see it through
because these things will change
can you feel it now?
these walls that they put up to hold us back will fall down
this revolution, the time will come
for us to finally win
we sing hallelujah, we sing hallelujah
so we've been outnumbered
raided and now cornered
it's hard to fight when the fight ain't fair
we're getting stronger now
find things they nver found
they might be bigger
but we're faster and never scared
you can walk away, say we don't need this
but there's something in your eyes
says we can beat this
tonight we'll stand, get off our knees
fight for what we're worked for all these years
and the battle was long, it's the fight of our lives
but we'll stand up champions tonight
it was the night things changed
do you see it now?
these walls that they put up to hold us back fell down
it's a revolution, throw your hands up
cause we never gave in
and we'll sing hallelujah, we sang hallelujah
hallelujah
Friday 28 August 2009
Combo~~~
To all victims who are affected by Typhoon Morakot .
SATU MALAYSIA
I like it so much and feeling damn well with strong nationality while listen to this song!!! Have a go and listen to it and believes you will like it so much :P
--> CLICK Here
Happy Birthday Malaysia
1 Go for gradual weight loss. Whether you’re losing 1kg per week or per month, the important thing is sustaining it. This way you’ll develop habits that will keep the kilos off for your lifetime.
SATU MALAYSIA
I like it so much and feeling damn well with strong nationality while listen to this song!!! Have a go and listen to it and believes you will like it so much :P
--> CLICK Here
Happy Birthday Malaysia
Cut kilos with pills, can you really do it
Taking diet pills may seem like the easiest weight-loss option but are they right for you? In today's blog, taken from Diabetic Living, we explore this issue.
Swallowing a pill – is it really enough to make you lose weight? The short answer is
no – not on its own. The sad reality is there is no substitute for eating less and being more active.
Diet medications may kick-start your efforts to trim down and speed up initial weigh loss, but results often come at a price! They can put a hole in your pocket that sees you lose money faster than kilos and may interact with other medications you use or foods you eat. Or, you may be put off by unpleasant side effects.
Even if pills help you shed kilos, they may not keep the weight off or reduce your risk of heart disease or other complications of being overweight. What you definitely cannot expect from pills is a long-term solution to your weight woes. Keeping it off permanently depends on adopting a lifestyle that combines healthy eating with regular exercise.
When can you turn to medication?
Diet pills are known to the health professionals as weight-loss medication therapy. They are an option when you have a body mass index (BMI) over 30, and you don’t have medical conditions such as cardiovascular disease or diabetes, and you’ve failed to drop kilos despite making the necessary lifestyle changes. These changes include reducing your fat intake to less than 30 per cent of your total daily caloric intake and doing at least 15 minutes of low-intensity exercise each day. If you have diabetes or
a cardiovascular condition, a BMI of 27 may qualify you for weight-loss medication therapy, owing to your increased potential health risks.
1 Go for gradual weight loss. Whether you’re losing 1kg per week or per month, the important thing is sustaining it. This way you’ll develop habits that will keep the kilos off for your lifetime.
2 Eat healthily. Opt for a low-fat, low-kilojoule eating plan recommended by a health professional. You will stick more successfully to a balanced, satisfying diet.
3 Boost your activity level. This will kick-start your metabolism, encourage fat burning and increase your energy.
4 Read food labels carefully. Make sure you choose low-fat options with blood glucose friendly carbohydrate levels.
5 Check your medications. Talk to your doctor or pharmacist to ensure there is no risk they’ll interact with your weight-loss pills.
6 Keep track of your progress. Have routine weigh-ins. Studies show hopping on the scales daily or weekly encourages more consistent long-term weight loss.Monday 24 August 2009
Homeless
Home? where is my home? I wana go home .... When will i get done?
Another summer day
Has come and gone away
In Paris and Rome
But I wanna go home
Mmmmmmmm
May be surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
I just wanna go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
And I’ve been keeping all the letters that I wrote to you
Each one a line or two
“I’m fine baby, how are you?”
Well I would send them but I know that it’s just not enough
My words were cold and flat
And you deserve more than that
Another aeroplane
Another sunny place
I’m lucky, I know
But I wanna go home
Mmmm, I’ve got to go home
Let me go home
I’m just too far from where you are
I wanna come home
And I feel just like I’m living someone else’s life
It’s like I just stepped outside
When everything was going right
And I know just why you could not
Come along with me
'Cause this was not your dream
But you always believed in me
Another winter day has come
And gone away
In even Paris and Rome
And I wanna go home
Let me go home
And I’m surrounded by
A million people I
Still feel all alone
Oh, let me go home
Oh, I miss you, you know
Let me go home
I’ve had my run
Baby, I’m done
I gotta go home
Let me go home
It will all be all right
I’ll be home tonight
I’m coming back home
Wednesday 5 August 2009
Summaries for Time Being
Ha.... been while didn't post any entry. August!! Just done my winter school ... the past two months are passed quick. Started first week of semester 2, no much feeling to this. Just another new semester for me and new units and works. Only the different, is, more new faces in this course. Final... this is Final~!!
Life is not much surprising me, as usual. Nothing super happy and rough things always. The future? too much expectations, too much hopes, too much wishes... trying my best to pursue ..
Time to give up, time to pick up? not sure either. Something been embedded and it likely to be appear now.. should i? or not? Bigger guess, just let it be then...
Argh!!!! enjoy the sunny and bright days so much.. now on is changing to wet weather again!!! frustrated ....!!!
Life is not much surprising me, as usual. Nothing super happy and rough things always. The future? too much expectations, too much hopes, too much wishes... trying my best to pursue ..
Time to give up, time to pick up? not sure either. Something been embedded and it likely to be appear now.. should i? or not? Bigger guess, just let it be then...
Argh!!!! enjoy the sunny and bright days so much.. now on is changing to wet weather again!!! frustrated ....!!!
I wonder to end this winter soon and my flavour sesson is here - SPRING~~!!
14 weeks .... fight time!!!
By end this entry, i would like to pray for everyone and even my family...
Dear Jesus,
Pray for my mum - her healthy, and the relationship of family. All my dear friends, their life, their financial, their health and work.. Pray in Jesus name. Amen.
14 weeks .... fight time!!!
By end this entry, i would like to pray for everyone and even my family...
Dear Jesus,
Pray for my mum - her healthy, and the relationship of family. All my dear friends, their life, their financial, their health and work.. Pray in Jesus name. Amen.
Sunday 12 July 2009
不执着，爱自己
当全世界在责怪你时，是否能够关起这扇门，开启另一道世外桃园的门， 然而迎接开心？
当全世界不懂在你的立场想时，是否不跟他们计较？或跟自己计较？
当一切不如意时，是否能放下？
是 可以的，因为不是全世界，那所谓的全世界只不过是他的世界，是少数人；那身边的自己世界，是多于那少数人的五倍. 支持的朋友永远是最知心的，为何要傻傻地 执着这些人？ 更何况，他们不是， 不曾付出真心作朋友。一开始，只因特殊原因，才做朋友。即使，有苦也只能自己承受，因他们的立场一开始已明白，是不能哭诉的知己。即使那些年， 已浪费了，没结果，也没有遗憾，因为真心对待人家，而人家不能感受也没法，只怪一开始不是你先认识的朋友。。。
感情是可以放得下，而亲情就不能。。。 但，也只能希望一切的后续是不会拆散这家。。真的爱着这家。。。
诚心的祷告，我爱我的家。 即使要借镜于我，那也不要用这事，我已看到，感受到。。。 亲爱的耶稣，请把您的考验收回吧。。。 谢谢让我学会不执着， 也让我看见5年前的自己，因为那时的我，是那么的坚强，一切的一切，我真的看到了。 请结束这一切吧。。！这乃是诚心祈求的，阿门！
当全世界不懂在你的立场想时，是否不跟他们计较？或跟自己计较？
当一切不如意时，是否能放下？
是 可以的，因为不是全世界，那所谓的全世界只不过是他的世界，是少数人；那身边的自己世界，是多于那少数人的五倍. 支持的朋友永远是最知心的，为何要傻傻地 执着这些人？ 更何况，他们不是， 不曾付出真心作朋友。一开始，只因特殊原因，才做朋友。即使，有苦也只能自己承受，因他们的立场一开始已明白，是不能哭诉的知己。即使那些年， 已浪费了，没结果，也没有遗憾，因为真心对待人家，而人家不能感受也没法，只怪一开始不是你先认识的朋友。。。
感情是可以放得下，而亲情就不能。。。 但，也只能希望一切的后续是不会拆散这家。。真的爱着这家。。。
诚心的祷告，我爱我的家。 即使要借镜于我，那也不要用这事，我已看到，感受到。。。 亲爱的耶稣，请把您的考验收回吧。。。 谢谢让我学会不执着， 也让我看见5年前的自己，因为那时的我，是那么的坚强，一切的一切，我真的看到了。 请结束这一切吧。。！这乃是诚心祈求的，阿门！
Thursday 9 July 2009
处女座的测验
12星座的悲傷都寫在哪裡？眼神裡
有些東西，不敢凝視，怕是如一汪深幽的泉水，透著魔勁兒，久了便會不顧一切的跳下去。然若永遠不去嘗試，就不會懂得，那原本是苦澀的泉水，全無了初見的清 澈與純潔。因為，其中聚集了悲傷，那些循環往復，永無盡頭的歎息。巨蟹，處女，魚魚的臉上,最容易洩露真相的,便是眼睛,它透露著所有關於歡喜與悲傷，因 此，對著清澈的鏡面，千萬不要凝視，那湧動的傷感會將你吞沒.什麼時候起，赤子般的明亮被無盡的陰霾代替，也如同歲月輾轉般無可奈何。本有那一雙愛笑的眼 睛，望見的天空時卻溢滿悲傷，或者正在祈禱著，天空不要為你掉眼淚?
有些東西，不敢凝視，怕是如一汪深幽的泉水，透著魔勁兒，久了便會不顧一切的跳下去。然若永遠不去嘗試，就不會懂得，那原本是苦澀的泉水，全無了初見的清 澈與純潔。因為，其中聚集了悲傷，那些循環往復，永無盡頭的歎息。巨蟹，處女，魚魚的臉上,最容易洩露真相的,便是眼睛,它透露著所有關於歡喜與悲傷，因 此，對著清澈的鏡面，千萬不要凝視，那湧動的傷感會將你吞沒.什麼時候起，赤子般的明亮被無盡的陰霾代替，也如同歲月輾轉般無可奈何。本有那一雙愛笑的眼 睛，望見的天空時卻溢滿悲傷，或者正在祈禱著，天空不要為你掉眼淚?
Sunday 5 July 2009
喘息
心情很复杂，心很累。。。 很累。。。 不知应该何去何从。。。
为何事情一而再， 再而三。。 不断地打扰着？ 真的好累。。。 我很累。。。 好希望一切的一切，是幻觉。
人为何有这么多的身份？！ 作为女儿， 真的很失败，不懂如何给以协助，很有智慧的意见。。。 作为孙女，常常在逃避，很愧疚。。。作为情人，非常地失败，为何每段都不能简简单单的？！为何事情总有解决不完的问题？作为学生，却不能好好地专心，常被事情而影响。。。。
其实每一件事，若是身为局外人，可以有很适当的解决方案；可是，身为当事人，很难抽身，很不愿意承认，面对事实。。。
若是必须要承受这一切，为何要排山倒海，接踵而来，好辛苦，好累。。。 不知还能支撑多久，找不到出口，发泄的出口。。。 可以不了了之吗？。。。
喘息的机会都没有。。。 。。。
为何事情一而再， 再而三。。 不断地打扰着？ 真的好累。。。 我很累。。。 好希望一切的一切，是幻觉。
人为何有这么多的身份？！ 作为女儿， 真的很失败，不懂如何给以协助，很有智慧的意见。。。 作为孙女，常常在逃避，很愧疚。。。作为情人，非常地失败，为何每段都不能简简单单的？！为何事情总有解决不完的问题？作为学生，却不能好好地专心，常被事情而影响。。。。
其实每一件事，若是身为局外人，可以有很适当的解决方案；可是，身为当事人，很难抽身，很不愿意承认，面对事实。。。
若是必须要承受这一切，为何要排山倒海，接踵而来，好辛苦，好累。。。 不知还能支撑多久，找不到出口，发泄的出口。。。 可以不了了之吗？。。。
喘息的机会都没有。。。 。。。
Freaking tiring......
Freaking tiring.....
Why all of them never ended? i am asking God about it. I don't know how far i could handle for...
I don't wanna be these... i wanna escape but i found nowhere.....
Family really important to me.. please don't take it away from me... i don't know how everyone will be ultimately... please please......leave them alone....
Love - i guess that i really don't know what the hell i can control or do... give up?! give up?!?!?! Give Up...?!?! i don't want but i have no choice... i don't like fighting over it by two inner of self...
Couldn't you all leave me alone??... i'm going to be insane... things are out of my control.... Fucking headache for 24 hours...wonder to go somewhere without all these... but i couldn't be selfish.... what else could i do?
God.... tell me!!!!!!!! .......
Why all of them never ended? i am asking God about it. I don't know how far i could handle for...
I don't wanna be these... i wanna escape but i found nowhere.....
Family really important to me.. please don't take it away from me... i don't know how everyone will be ultimately... please please......leave them alone....
Love - i guess that i really don't know what the hell i can control or do... give up?! give up?!?!?! Give Up...?!?! i don't want but i have no choice... i don't like fighting over it by two inner of self...
Couldn't you all leave me alone??... i'm going to be insane... things are out of my control.... Fucking headache for 24 hours...wonder to go somewhere without all these... but i couldn't be selfish.... what else could i do?
God.... tell me!!!!!!!! .......
Wednesday 17 June 2009
June
Mid of June, it is mid of June now...
Grandma passed away about 2 weeks to now. It only about 2 - 3 weeks, but seemingly ages passed for me. It is difficult to describe it to words and you might not get it. Never mind!! things happened and it must be some reasons caused.
Life still keep going on, as time is waiting for no one. Life changed, Thoughts changed, Decisions changed.
Mama, i miss you. I bet that you are enjoying new journey at God's home. It was Sunday and pretty sure that's why 'he' picked the day. I'm sorry that i didn't sent you off and did not performed well in the exam as well. Hopefully, result will be a pass. I'm sorry, and i could stay little longer for you indeed. Selfish !! is a bad drive!!! I get what i desire for, but, i am worrying too. I not sure if this is right or?.....
No matter it is rational decision or ... It is what desire for, enjoy it then. Answers? none of us know it, so take it, go for it...
God is leading us .....
Grandma passed away about 2 weeks to now. It only about 2 - 3 weeks, but seemingly ages passed for me. It is difficult to describe it to words and you might not get it. Never mind!! things happened and it must be some reasons caused.
Life still keep going on, as time is waiting for no one. Life changed, Thoughts changed, Decisions changed.
Mama, i miss you. I bet that you are enjoying new journey at God's home. It was Sunday and pretty sure that's why 'he' picked the day. I'm sorry that i didn't sent you off and did not performed well in the exam as well. Hopefully, result will be a pass. I'm sorry, and i could stay little longer for you indeed. Selfish !! is a bad drive!!! I get what i desire for, but, i am worrying too. I not sure if this is right or?.....
No matter it is rational decision or ... It is what desire for, enjoy it then. Answers? none of us know it, so take it, go for it...
God is leading us .....
Saturday 30 May 2009
A Deep Sadness
After a long day flights from Perth -> KL --> Kuching --> Sibu, We were so tired. Due to public holiday and school holidays, there is not any direct flight from KL to Sibu. Therefore, we need to transit at Kuching to Sibu. Guess what?! air ticket damn expensive as well. Sigh... but we don't have options...
By 10 pm, we reached Sibu Hospital. I couldn't blieve that how lousy the facilities of the hospital, how scary of the lifts there, how young of doctors.. .. Sigh.... She was so awake and look at us. She looked happy while saw us back. Tears shed in my heart, she looks so slim and much older.... She almost cried while she heard about my elder brother not feeling well. He wasn't feeling well with stomach and vomitted few times at the night before flight. He also almost 'kena' stopped at arrival of LCCT due to H1N1 virus checking. We were safe at home eventually. God is so great as he is doing his grace.
Almost 1am, i went to sleep after a night without sleep. By 2 plus, mum woke me up as she heard dad went out. We were thought he out to hospital. By 5 plus, mum up and wondered if i follow her to hospital with sis in law and my eldest brother. BUT, we reached there and shocked as dad and my eldest brother were not at hospital. YES!!! My elder brother admitted to private specialist. Fortunately, there is not another case. He is doing all right now.
All my relatives, aunties, uncles and even my family rush in and out hospital everyday. Some of them look tired, some of them seems worrying, some of them quiet .. But, my grandma still suffering with her sickness. She is falling weaker and weaker. My mum also not feeling well as she need to rush in and out with food delivering, look after grandma as well.
Until last afternoon, she really was suffering with pains, she angered, frustrated. She took away her oxygen mask. I tried to put it back, and she push away my hand and my uncle's hand too. I can't do anything while i saw her in pains and suffering. Finally, i cried and i went out of the room with full of tears. We don't want she see us cry for her as she will cry too. This is my first time and i saw my grandpa with tears while i outside of room. He told me that how suffer of my grand-grandparent last time and so......
We are expected worsen situation as she might not live longer. All of the relatives were arrived from other towns, other contries by last night. None of us attached with smile. We are getting ready what shall be to prepare for. Dad is the one who busiest with all the preparations. Before we left hospital at the night, and i went into room to see her. My feeling told me so that she might not longer the night. I was so anxiety, so unpeaceful for whole night. I couldn't sleep with tears.
I forced myself to do some reading as i not yet read anything for my coming exam. By 3 plus, my eldest brother called my dad up. He said :"grandma said that she wanna leave now." I ran out and stood there while dad answered the call. After that, mum, sis in law, dad and me rush to hospital. We called up all the aunties and uncles.
This is my really first time to see all my aunties and uncles, even my parent with tears. I almost lost my way and wonder what to do so. She almost gone!! All the memories of us, recall me back to the past.
Thanks god, she is all right now. Anyhow, i am hoping that she will leaving without pains. Please, Jesus please, take her back to you with joy. I rather to see her without pains.
There is another incident, my younger cousin sister faint as we all stood there and waiting quietly at the room. Sighh........ My aunty said that she always don't eat rice, fruits, vegetables, and even meats.... Haizzz.... Such a young girl but having a weak body, what for?!?!
Everyone is full of tired now. Some of us take term and resting now in order to look after her. There is another day to fight with and we need energy. Also, some mixture feeling appearing to me, and i don't know what shall i be as i leaving sibu by tomorrow noon. Sigh..... i blieve so, my brothers also don't want to leave and stay longer. Is this called 'LIFE?"
Such a bad times .... Strenght...!!! Faith!!!!!....
By 10 pm, we reached Sibu Hospital. I couldn't blieve that how lousy the facilities of the hospital, how scary of the lifts there, how young of doctors.. .. Sigh.... She was so awake and look at us. She looked happy while saw us back. Tears shed in my heart, she looks so slim and much older.... She almost cried while she heard about my elder brother not feeling well. He wasn't feeling well with stomach and vomitted few times at the night before flight. He also almost 'kena' stopped at arrival of LCCT due to H1N1 virus checking. We were safe at home eventually. God is so great as he is doing his grace.
Almost 1am, i went to sleep after a night without sleep. By 2 plus, mum woke me up as she heard dad went out. We were thought he out to hospital. By 5 plus, mum up and wondered if i follow her to hospital with sis in law and my eldest brother. BUT, we reached there and shocked as dad and my eldest brother were not at hospital. YES!!! My elder brother admitted to private specialist. Fortunately, there is not another case. He is doing all right now.
All my relatives, aunties, uncles and even my family rush in and out hospital everyday. Some of them look tired, some of them seems worrying, some of them quiet .. But, my grandma still suffering with her sickness. She is falling weaker and weaker. My mum also not feeling well as she need to rush in and out with food delivering, look after grandma as well.
Until last afternoon, she really was suffering with pains, she angered, frustrated. She took away her oxygen mask. I tried to put it back, and she push away my hand and my uncle's hand too. I can't do anything while i saw her in pains and suffering. Finally, i cried and i went out of the room with full of tears. We don't want she see us cry for her as she will cry too. This is my first time and i saw my grandpa with tears while i outside of room. He told me that how suffer of my grand-grandparent last time and so......
We are expected worsen situation as she might not live longer. All of the relatives were arrived from other towns, other contries by last night. None of us attached with smile. We are getting ready what shall be to prepare for. Dad is the one who busiest with all the preparations. Before we left hospital at the night, and i went into room to see her. My feeling told me so that she might not longer the night. I was so anxiety, so unpeaceful for whole night. I couldn't sleep with tears.
I forced myself to do some reading as i not yet read anything for my coming exam. By 3 plus, my eldest brother called my dad up. He said :"grandma said that she wanna leave now." I ran out and stood there while dad answered the call. After that, mum, sis in law, dad and me rush to hospital. We called up all the aunties and uncles.
This is my really first time to see all my aunties and uncles, even my parent with tears. I almost lost my way and wonder what to do so. She almost gone!! All the memories of us, recall me back to the past.
Thanks god, she is all right now. Anyhow, i am hoping that she will leaving without pains. Please, Jesus please, take her back to you with joy. I rather to see her without pains.
There is another incident, my younger cousin sister faint as we all stood there and waiting quietly at the room. Sighh........ My aunty said that she always don't eat rice, fruits, vegetables, and even meats.... Haizzz.... Such a young girl but having a weak body, what for?!?!
Everyone is full of tired now. Some of us take term and resting now in order to look after her. There is another day to fight with and we need energy. Also, some mixture feeling appearing to me, and i don't know what shall i be as i leaving sibu by tomorrow noon. Sigh..... i blieve so, my brothers also don't want to leave and stay longer. Is this called 'LIFE?"
Such a bad times .... Strenght...!!! Faith!!!!!....
Wednesday 27 May 2009
Keep Praying
Just finished packed everything. I don't like the feeling as keep to wonder what else left over and also important. Girls really too many thingy, troublesome huh?! YES!! i agree so. But, most importantly i bring myself and my book back.
I feeling tired now and i still need to type some notes for me easier to read. Just in case as i might not time to go through all the chapters.
I hope i won't get sick, and also running nose & watering eyes as usual as i got in Sibu always. Unfortunately, my nose is itching; just pray, not to be worsen.
Little worry and i hope that i will able to control my emotions while i see my grandma. Keep prayers around you, grandma. Keep away pains from you too~!!!
Early year to now, i not yet get anything or any news that i really excited with. I couldn't ask more why this or that happen. I have to keep my strength, faiths to go through all these as i know Jesus is around me. He is not leaving me alone.
Dear God,
I hand myself to you, and keep all others to you as well. Please look after them and keep them strong. I pray for them, i pray for their health, i pray for their way, i pray for my grandma to accept Christ and so we will meet at your lovely home someday. Pray in Jesus name, Amen.
I feeling tired now and i still need to type some notes for me easier to read. Just in case as i might not time to go through all the chapters.
I hope i won't get sick, and also running nose & watering eyes as usual as i got in Sibu always. Unfortunately, my nose is itching; just pray, not to be worsen.
Little worry and i hope that i will able to control my emotions while i see my grandma. Keep prayers around you, grandma. Keep away pains from you too~!!!
Early year to now, i not yet get anything or any news that i really excited with. I couldn't ask more why this or that happen. I have to keep my strength, faiths to go through all these as i know Jesus is around me. He is not leaving me alone.
Dear God,
I hand myself to you, and keep all others to you as well. Please look after them and keep them strong. I pray for them, i pray for their health, i pray for their way, i pray for my grandma to accept Christ and so we will meet at your lovely home someday. Pray in Jesus name, Amen.
Monday 25 May 2009
Praying for Dear Grandma
4:40pm, received a sms from daddy. It is a sad news, doctor just announced that my grandmother might not longer of her life and get ready for her. I shocked and lost for second.
I don't know what should we do - my brothers and me. Should we take leave and home? Should we expect the worse?
I gave a call to dad, voice of his - sad, tired, sniff. I wordless as i don't know how to comfort him because i am lose too.
Since we all are here, i called up my cousin brother. I told him that he is the oldest grandson at back home now against others. Go and visit her for three of us as we don't know how far she can go anymore, and we are not able to do anything as far away.
What i heard is that she is weak, she is suffering, she is living with machines. We all don't know how far she could go more and depends on herself.
I praying so hard to God, should we keep her staying or just release her? I rather to release her since she is suffering. BUT... i don't feel like to let her go... 25 years, my dear grandma...
Tears shed, non stop... Dear God, please give strength to all of us and keep her in warm with fearless. Keep angels and look after her. Pray in Jesus name with full of my love, Amen.
I don't know what should we do - my brothers and me. Should we take leave and home? Should we expect the worse?
I gave a call to dad, voice of his - sad, tired, sniff. I wordless as i don't know how to comfort him because i am lose too.
Since we all are here, i called up my cousin brother. I told him that he is the oldest grandson at back home now against others. Go and visit her for three of us as we don't know how far she can go anymore, and we are not able to do anything as far away.
What i heard is that she is weak, she is suffering, she is living with machines. We all don't know how far she could go more and depends on herself.
I praying so hard to God, should we keep her staying or just release her? I rather to release her since she is suffering. BUT... i don't feel like to let her go... 25 years, my dear grandma...
Tears shed, non stop... Dear God, please give strength to all of us and keep her in warm with fearless. Keep angels and look after her. Pray in Jesus name with full of my love, Amen.
Wednesday 20 May 2009
Happy Birthday
看着一分一秒的过，12点钟。 假装不在乎，继续玩网上游戏，但，心里总在想另一方在想什么呢？是否也在纳闷没有来的祝福？！ 或，或许根本不在乎？或许，已有了他人的陪伴？许多的猜测。。。
不论如何，在这送上深深的祝福：“亲爱的，生日快乐”。不在身边的祝福，而是第一次，3年后的第一次，有何感想？过几个月后，我又何的感觉？
不是狠心，不是不想，而是尝试一切的陌生。也是该放手，给与时间，那所谓心中的重量和份量。是很好的时候去看看， 去想想，何谓重要，何谓的将来，何谓的答案。希望如此~~！！
谢谢曾经的生日。。。 。。。
.jpg)
谢谢曾经陪伴，谢谢曾经的幸福。对不起没有来的祝福，但，在心中。。。 Again, Happy Birthday~!
不论如何，在这送上深深的祝福：“亲爱的，生日快乐”。不在身边的祝福，而是第一次，3年后的第一次，有何感想？过几个月后，我又何的感觉？
不是狠心，不是不想，而是尝试一切的陌生。也是该放手，给与时间，那所谓心中的重量和份量。是很好的时候去看看， 去想想，何谓重要，何谓的将来，何谓的答案。希望如此~~！！
谢谢曾经的生日。。。 。。。
.jpg)
谢谢曾经陪伴，谢谢曾经的幸福。对不起没有来的祝福，但，在心中。。。 Again, Happy Birthday~!
Saturday 16 May 2009
飘远的距离
最近生病了，没有很多人的关怀，也许是小病，也就是感冒伤风之类。“他”不曾真正的关心，但是‘他’却天天的问候，而我希望的是“他”。 幸亏的是，并没有期望太大，可能是我已习惯了吧。
不知不觉， 已是两个多月，也是他的生日将近，心情没有很大的起伏。但，就有种感觉。那，就是世界突然离我好远好远。他，也是一样。是否内心深处也是？ 不知！或许有一天答案会揭晓。。。。。。 也或许有一天，再不会有这种患得患失，害怕又期待的感觉吧~~！！
仿佛回到4年前的我， 采取“不干预政策”。 对于害怕又期待，甜蜜但又有痛苦的风险的感觉，通通不再是重点。自己的一切大过于天，迈向目标前进，过着没有涟漪的生活，无忧无虑，开开心心。
已不想拘束，想自由，想放手，想轻轻松松。。。 。。。好期待旅行， 一趟无拘的旅行。
不知不觉， 已是两个多月，也是他的生日将近，心情没有很大的起伏。但，就有种感觉。那，就是世界突然离我好远好远。他，也是一样。是否内心深处也是？ 不知！或许有一天答案会揭晓。。。。。。 也或许有一天，再不会有这种患得患失，害怕又期待的感觉吧~~！！
仿佛回到4年前的我， 采取“不干预政策”。 对于害怕又期待，甜蜜但又有痛苦的风险的感觉，通通不再是重点。自己的一切大过于天，迈向目标前进，过着没有涟漪的生活，无忧无虑，开开心心。
已不想拘束，想自由，想放手，想轻轻松松。。。 。。。好期待旅行， 一趟无拘的旅行。
Wednesday 6 May 2009
BYE BYE & Work Hard
Sad News of life at the year
Within a year, within half year, got two sad news. They never joy with me forever and back to home of God. They're passed away. Both of them was closed friend with me at a point of my life. Recent one, i knew her since i was 12, pretty long hey.... Cried for it. I wish that she is peaceful and joyful at home of God. I know that God will look after for her and so i happy :)
It was shocked me on the day as i heard about it. I could not believe it as i just saw her since early of the year. Life is so unexpected and uncertainty. It reminds me that to be more conscious, more concern about friends around, especially family.
My dear friends, not matter where are you and i will miss you always. Love you~~!!!
Last To Go
There are so many things, so many works, so many feelings come across, and i needs to handle, cope with. No enough sleep and work at late as normal practice at recently. There is the assignment period for me and so many assignment, presentations, quiz. Finally, there only left one unit to go with and the rest wait for exam. Yeapieee~!!! But, not yet able to relax as to strive for the last. Also, i did enjoyed the nights, a long weekend farewell for a friend, even thought i so tiring at the moment as i need to catch up so many things after that. So far, the tasks for this week are done - quiz & presentation. My brain are shutting down soon. Finally, i can get a long hours sleep before i go for the last thing to catch up.
16 of us at the first night for Triple B party over the weekend.
2nd Night, K @ Utopia @ 14 peoples.
3rd night, dinner & games~!
a drink to keep me energy but not to kick away "sleeping bugs" away. This is one of the drink that i drank recently. Likewise, Heaps heaps heaps of energy drinks & caffeine drinks that i tried for keeping myself awake but all of them not working (for me)..... how sad !!! But i did finished my work anyway...
Mixture feelings
Many things happened in a week, sad, happy, missing, blissful, confuse, joyful, crying etc. So many questions are unclear, unknown. I prefer to take no care with all and life gonna be better... somehow i cares still.... confuse isn't?
Everyone is trying hard to find the destination of their life. Timing is the biggest issue and so do i... how i wonder ...........
Within a year, within half year, got two sad news. They never joy with me forever and back to home of God. They're passed away. Both of them was closed friend with me at a point of my life. Recent one, i knew her since i was 12, pretty long hey.... Cried for it. I wish that she is peaceful and joyful at home of God. I know that God will look after for her and so i happy :)
It was shocked me on the day as i heard about it. I could not believe it as i just saw her since early of the year. Life is so unexpected and uncertainty. It reminds me that to be more conscious, more concern about friends around, especially family.
My dear friends, not matter where are you and i will miss you always. Love you~~!!!
~~~~~~~BYE BYE EILEEN & JOAN~~~~~~~
Last To Go
There are so many things, so many works, so many feelings come across, and i needs to handle, cope with. No enough sleep and work at late as normal practice at recently. There is the assignment period for me and so many assignment, presentations, quiz. Finally, there only left one unit to go with and the rest wait for exam. Yeapieee~!!! But, not yet able to relax as to strive for the last. Also, i did enjoyed the nights, a long weekend farewell for a friend, even thought i so tiring at the moment as i need to catch up so many things after that. So far, the tasks for this week are done - quiz & presentation. My brain are shutting down soon. Finally, i can get a long hours sleep before i go for the last thing to catch up.
16 of us at the first night for Triple B party over the weekend.
2nd Night, K @ Utopia @ 14 peoples.
3rd night, dinner & games~!
~~BYE BYE BARON~~
A Drink & those nights
Mixture feelings
Many things happened in a week, sad, happy, missing, blissful, confuse, joyful, crying etc. So many questions are unclear, unknown. I prefer to take no care with all and life gonna be better... somehow i cares still.... confuse isn't?
Friday 1 May 2009
复杂的。。。
两大心情事故：
不知的心，真的不了解。害怕去了解，深刻的，深入的探讨。。。 亲爱的，抓“谜”藏不好玩，结束好吗？放风筝， 我很不在行，不懂何时收，何时放。。。 一点都不好玩。。。 不是吗？若是结束一切, 很想却不舍得。。。 很佩服你的忍耐力！！！ 好佩服如何做到的？
我的好友， 我会为你而祈祷的, 千万要坚强。为了她都好，也为自己好，你会活得更好的。不要为了一个不值得的他和一个家， 而伤心难过。我很希望看到以前开朗的你。
We will be good, and i pretty sure God planned a great & brighten way for you. You will go through all these shitty, my dear. Worst come to worst, and i am here still. To all your beloved, you are the best one and the greatest one, so please don't give up. You can do it, my dear. No matter how, surely you able to encounter them.
No matter what is the decision of you, i will give you full supports without doubts. JIA YOU!!! ADD OILSss!!!
God bless You, my dear~!!
不知的心，真的不了解。害怕去了解，深刻的，深入的探讨。。。 亲爱的，抓“谜”藏不好玩，结束好吗？放风筝， 我很不在行，不懂何时收，何时放。。。 一点都不好玩。。。 不是吗？若是结束一切, 很想却不舍得。。。 很佩服你的忍耐力！！！ 好佩服如何做到的？
我的好友， 我会为你而祈祷的, 千万要坚强。为了她都好，也为自己好，你会活得更好的。不要为了一个不值得的他和一个家， 而伤心难过。我很希望看到以前开朗的你。
We will be good, and i pretty sure God planned a great & brighten way for you. You will go through all these shitty, my dear. Worst come to worst, and i am here still. To all your beloved, you are the best one and the greatest one, so please don't give up. You can do it, my dear. No matter how, surely you able to encounter them.
No matter what is the decision of you, i will give you full supports without doubts. JIA YOU!!! ADD OILSss!!!
God bless You, my dear~!!
Sunday 12 April 2009
Creaking Once Again
最近，在那一方的城市不停下大雨，生病了。。。我好想说：“好好照顾自己”，却话到嘴边而不能言语。。。 一直都没消没息，都只我在思念中，间中，偶尔地问候着。。不知打铁了心或不敢传来问候！！ 其实，思念都不曾间断过，不曾停止的爱过，不曾不为流泪。。。 。。。
这一个月来，不断地催眠，催眠自己是可以的，是坚强的。。。有曾想过，尝试的恨，可恨不了，尝试的忘记，可我深深知道它还在内心某个深处。许多人的劝告，忘记他吧，放下吧，或许他在拥抱着她，把自己交托给主。。。。！！！！ 直到近来，开始尝试释怀这一切，一切交托予主；课业都多多少少被影响，不如自己的预期。。。。。。
一个月了，我也以为我们都在恢复中，伤痛在减少中。。。但，又一次深深地觉得心疼和受伤。。。
在半个钟前，崩溃地哭了。一路以来，不曾减少对他的关心，都在暗中地浏览他的facebook,friendster,和blog。这也成了我的每日必备的功课。终于近来，为了课业，尝试不去关心，浏览任何有关于他的一切。可不知为何，刚刚竟看了“布洛克”。他竟贴上了新的一页，因他不曾贴上任何的日记在那一页之后。在读着的那刻，心跳加速，害怕的不知会是什么。看了，哭了，泪又流了，不停的，崩溃了。。。为何呢？何必呢？那问题又一次次的重复，为何呢？为何要如此呢？心疼着你可又很受伤着。。
不能呼吸，再一次掏空自己。 不止是你，我何曾不是每天都带着面具做人？特别是在父母面前，真的是强颜欢笑，背后珠泪暗弹。。。
Everyday, praying for healing of us. Let it handle by God, lead me on the way he planned for us. 不知前面如何，我都会为着你和你家人祷告，让他来平复这一切的一切。。。。
Psalm 42-43 (BOOK II)
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My should thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can i go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
These things i remember as i pour out my soul:
how i sued to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore i will remember you from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers have swept over me
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
My Savior and my God.
Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.
You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?
Send fort your light and your truth, let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
Then will i go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
这一个月来，不断地催眠，催眠自己是可以的，是坚强的。。。有曾想过，尝试的恨，可恨不了，尝试的忘记，可我深深知道它还在内心某个深处。许多人的劝告，忘记他吧，放下吧，或许他在拥抱着她，把自己交托给主。。。。！！！！ 直到近来，开始尝试释怀这一切，一切交托予主；课业都多多少少被影响，不如自己的预期。。。。。。
一个月了，我也以为我们都在恢复中，伤痛在减少中。。。但，又一次深深地觉得心疼和受伤。。。
在半个钟前，崩溃地哭了。一路以来，不曾减少对他的关心，都在暗中地浏览他的facebook,friendster,和blog。这也成了我的每日必备的功课。终于近来，为了课业，尝试不去关心，浏览任何有关于他的一切。可不知为何，刚刚竟看了“布洛克”。他竟贴上了新的一页，因他不曾贴上任何的日记在那一页之后。在读着的那刻，心跳加速，害怕的不知会是什么。看了，哭了，泪又流了，不停的，崩溃了。。。为何呢？何必呢？那问题又一次次的重复，为何呢？为何要如此呢？心疼着你可又很受伤着。。
不能呼吸，再一次掏空自己。 不止是你，我何曾不是每天都带着面具做人？特别是在父母面前，真的是强颜欢笑，背后珠泪暗弹。。。
Everyday, praying for healing of us. Let it handle by God, lead me on the way he planned for us. 不知前面如何，我都会为着你和你家人祷告，让他来平复这一切的一切。。。。
Psalm 42-43 (BOOK II)
As the deer pants for streams of water,
so my soul pants for you, O God.
My should thirsts for God, for the living God.
When can i go and meet with God?
My tears have been my food day and night,
while men say to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
These things i remember as i pour out my soul:
how i sued to go with the multitude,
leading the procession to the house of God,
with shouts of joy and thanksgiving among the festive throng.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
My soul is downcast within me;
therefore i will remember you from the land of the Jordan,
the heights of Hermon-from Mount Mizar
Deep calls to deep in the roar of your waterfalls;
all your waves and breakers have swept over me
By day the LORD directs his love,
at night his song is with me - a prayer to the God of my life.
I say to God my Rock,
"Why have you forgotten me?
Why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?"
My bones suffer mortal agony as my foes taunt me,
saying to me all day long,
"Where is your God?"
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
My Savior and my God.
Vindicate me, O God,
and plead my cause against an ungodly nation;
rescue me from deceitful and wicked men.
You are God my stronghold.
Why have you rejected me?
Why must i go about mourning, oppressed by the enemy?
Send fort your light and your truth, let them guide me;
let them bring me to your holy mountain,
to the place where you dwell.
Then will i go to the altar of God,
to God, my joy and my delight.
I will praise you with the harp,
O God, my God.
Why are you downcast, O my soul?
Why so disturbed within me?
Put your hope in God,
for i will yet praise him,
my Savior and my God.
 | Hannah Ford - Psalm 42 |  |
 | ||
 | Found at bee mp3 search engine |  |
Tuesday 31 March 2009
爱。遗失出口
偶尔复杂，偶尔空虚，偶尔发呆；不知，不懂，不明；泪水只能打转，只能强忍，不能呼吸，只能回吞；任何事只能自己扛，自己面对。
路很难走可还是得走，呼吸会痛可还是得呼吸，渴望得到家人的支持，但，又能希望他们如何的明白？
每天每天，告诉自己，“要坚强”,“要洒脱”。。。 。。。
在东京铁塔第一次眺望
看灯火模仿坠落的星光
我终於到达但却更悲伤
一个人完成我们的梦想
你总说时间还很多
你可以等我
以前我不懂得
未必明天就有以后
想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛
没看你脸上张扬过哀伤
那是种多么寂寞的倔强
你拆了城墙让我去流浪
在原地等我把自己捆绑
你没说你也会软弱
需要依赖我
我就装不晓得
自由移动自我地过
想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛
我发誓不再说谎了
多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了
灵魂像飘浮着你在就好了
我发誓不让你等候
陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳
怕心被人触碰你回来那就好了
能重来那就好了
当世界不知不觉的变了
有时候我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想像是一种快乐
拥有了同时也失去什黱
而眷恋原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟心开始曲折
我不想舍得不想懂得
是谁惹谁言不由衷
说谎伤害都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什黱
我不想舍得不想懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
能握著手就是感动的
离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把它从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
彷佛被你伤的好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由
挽留
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把它从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
彷佛被你伤的好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由
挽留
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
彷佛被你伤的好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由
挽留
我在向前走却像在退后
我在用想念狂欢寂寞
越快乐就越失落
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
一个人不懂什么是拥有
两个人不懂怎么把握
越在乎就越脆弱
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
We were both young when I first saw you
当我第一次见到你的时候我们都还很年轻
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
我闭上双眼 我们的故事在我脑海里一幕幕回放
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air
炎炎夏日我站在阳台上
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
看着这些灯，派对和舞会礼服
See you make your way through the crowd
看你穿过拥挤的人群
And say hello, little did I know
跟我打招呼 我不知道
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
你就是罗密欧 你朝我扔小石子
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
我爸爸说 离朱丽叶远点
And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go
我在楼梯上哭了 求你不要离开
And I said
我说
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
罗密欧 带我去一个我们能单独在一起的地方吧
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
我会等待的 现在能做的只有逃跑了
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
你会成为王子而我就是公主
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 你就答应我吧
So I sneak out to the garden to see you
我悄悄溜到花园去看你
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
我们都很安静 因为如果被他们知道我们就惨了
So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while
所以闭上你的双眼 逃离这个城市一会儿吧
Oh, oh, oh
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
因为你是罗密欧 我是红A字
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
我爸爸说 离朱丽叶远点
But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go
但是你就是我的一切 我请求你不要离开
And I said
我说
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
罗密欧 带我去一个只有我们俩的地方吧
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
我会等的 我们所能做的就只有逃跑了
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
你会成为我的王子而我就是你的公主
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 答应我吧
Romeo, save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel
罗密欧 快解救我吧 他们试图告诉我如何去感受
This love is difficult, but it’s real
这段爱情困难重重 但是这是真实的爱
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
不要害怕 我们会摆脱困难的
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 答应我吧
I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around
我已厌倦了等待 我想知道你究竟还会不会回来
my faith in you was fading
我对你的信心也在减少
When I met you on the outskirts of town
当我在郊区遇到你
And I said
我说
Romeo, save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
罗密欧 快解救我吧 我一直感到很孤独
I keep waiting for you but you never come
我一直都在等你 但是你却没有出现
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
我脑海里想的全是这个 我不知道还能想些什么
he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
他跪在地上 拿出一个戒指
And said
说道
Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
嫁给我吧 朱丽叶 你不会再感到孤单了
I love you and that's all I really know
我爱你 这是我所知道的
I talked to your dad you'll pick out a white dress
我和你的爸爸谈过了 你可以挑一条白色的裙子
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 答应我吧
Oh, oh, oh
We were both young when I first saw you
当我第一次见到你的时候我们都还很年轻
Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back
and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around
Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake,
I didn't wanna be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around
And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm sooo sorry
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday
who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse,
to catch me now
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now
你撑着雨伞 接我那次
已经足够我 记得一辈子
我懂後来你 不是不坚持
爱情本来就 没万无一失
泪水离开了 你的手指
那不如让它 留在这信纸
我想女孩子 最贴心的是
让爱的人选 结束的方式
我最幸福的事 当过你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩饰 让我们像当时拥抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置 是最幸福的事
可惜爱不是 童话故事
不能够永远 依赖着王子
再难过其实 只剩两个字
我怎麽忍心 为难你解释
我最幸福的事 当过你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩饰 让我们像当时拥抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置 是最幸福的事
那一阵子有你 美得不像现实
多高兴每一幕 都微笑着静止
我最幸福的事 牵着你的日子
一段爱从开始 即使分开我们都对彼此诚实
最幸福的事 对那片海用力大喊永远的样子
想得起的事 那天和你傻笑着认识 是最幸福的事
幸福从我手中溜走了，我握不住也握不紧。
是我的粗心以及一切的一切，让我现在这么样的难过。
你的眼中不会有我了，我知道。
你不会再像以前那样关心我了，我知道。
你不会再像以前那样哄我了，我知道。
你不会再像以前有那样温柔的眼神了，我知道。
我们的故事都变了，不是吗？
开头写的如此无头绪，就连结尾也不可以变漂亮点吗？
曾经的“幸福”，是我一厢情愿哦？
再顾虑我都快疯了。
顾虑，成了我肩上的包袱，压得快喘不过气。
是我一手造成的，对不起。
就算不曾喜欢，也都算了。
曾经感觉幸福就好。
爱，悄悄走了。
幸福，悄悄走了。
多完美的爱， 也有缺口， 然而， 爱 见了底 在流血了。。。 爱 可以简单吗？ 爱的底， 究竟有多深？ 爱， 枯了。。。 。。。
路很难走可还是得走，呼吸会痛可还是得呼吸，渴望得到家人的支持，但，又能希望他们如何的明白？
每天每天，告诉自己，“要坚强”,“要洒脱”。。。 。。。
在东京铁塔第一次眺望
看灯火模仿坠落的星光
我终於到达但却更悲伤
一个人完成我们的梦想
你总说时间还很多
你可以等我
以前我不懂得
未必明天就有以后
想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛
没看你脸上张扬过哀伤
那是种多么寂寞的倔强
你拆了城墙让我去流浪
在原地等我把自己捆绑
你没说你也会软弱
需要依赖我
我就装不晓得
自由移动自我地过
想念是会呼吸的痛
它活在我身上所有角落
哼你爱的歌会痛
看你的信会痛连沉默也痛
遗憾是会呼吸的痛
它流在血液中来回滚动
后悔不贴心会痛
恨不懂你会痛
想见不能见最痛
我发誓不再说谎了
多爱你就会抱你多紧的
我的微笑都假了
灵魂像飘浮着你在就好了
我发誓不让你等候
陪你做想做的无论什么
我越来越像贝壳
怕心被人触碰你回来那就好了
能重来那就好了
当世界不知不觉的变了
有时候我怀念以前的我
作的梦虽然远远的
想像是一种快乐
拥有了同时也失去什黱
而眷恋原来会带来软弱
你让我在雾里成熟心开始曲折
我不想舍得不想懂得
是谁惹谁言不由衷
说谎伤害都是不安犯的错
怕抱不紧什黱
我不想舍得不想懂得
谁说割爱才更深刻
彼此依赖是爱不是负荷
能握著手就是感动的
离开不会太悲伤
有些心情该释放
直到眼泪它自己落下
才发现骗不了自己
其实很爱你
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把它从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
彷佛被你伤的好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由
挽留
现在学着去遗忘
躲开有你的地方
回忆被谁放在书架上
把它从最高的地方落下
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
彷佛被你伤的好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由
挽留
感动越是深刻
寂寞就越伤人喔
每个人的心里都会有一段伤痕
像白纸的天真
彷佛被你伤的好深
相爱不需要理由
离开也没有理由
挽留
我在向前走却像在退后
我在用想念狂欢寂寞
越快乐就越失落
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
一个人不懂什么是拥有
两个人不懂怎么把握
越在乎就越脆弱
爱将我们高高举起以后
再让心学会坠落
怀念这宽阔的天空
虽然那里空气很稀薄
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
我努力想起你笑着哭泣
让自己深爱你再学会放弃
我不想忘记你
就算可以
我宁可记得所有伤心
我努力想起你苦也没关系
用祝福和感激勇敢失去你
爱你这个决定
虽然艰辛
我不说对不起
We were both young when I first saw you
当我第一次见到你的时候我们都还很年轻
I close my eyes and the flashback starts
我闭上双眼 我们的故事在我脑海里一幕幕回放
I'm standing there on a balcony in summer air
炎炎夏日我站在阳台上
See the lights, see the party, the ball gowns
看着这些灯，派对和舞会礼服
See you make your way through the crowd
看你穿过拥挤的人群
And say hello, little did I know
跟我打招呼 我不知道
That you were Romeo, you were throwing pebbles
你就是罗密欧 你朝我扔小石子
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
我爸爸说 离朱丽叶远点
And I was crying on the staircase, begging you please don't go
我在楼梯上哭了 求你不要离开
And I said
我说
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
罗密欧 带我去一个我们能单独在一起的地方吧
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
我会等待的 现在能做的只有逃跑了
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
你会成为王子而我就是公主
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 你就答应我吧
So I sneak out to the garden to see you
我悄悄溜到花园去看你
We keep quiet 'cause we're dead if they knew
我们都很安静 因为如果被他们知道我们就惨了
So close your eyes, escape this town for a little while
所以闭上你的双眼 逃离这个城市一会儿吧
Oh, oh, oh
'Cause you were Romeo, I was a scarlet letter
因为你是罗密欧 我是红A字
And my daddy said stay away from Juliet
我爸爸说 离朱丽叶远点
But you were everything to me, I was begging you please don't go
但是你就是我的一切 我请求你不要离开
And I said
我说
Romeo, take me somewhere we can be alone
罗密欧 带我去一个只有我们俩的地方吧
I'll be waiting, all there's left to do is run
我会等的 我们所能做的就只有逃跑了
You'll be the prince and I'll be the princess
你会成为我的王子而我就是你的公主
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 答应我吧
Romeo, save me, they’re trying to tell me how to feel
罗密欧 快解救我吧 他们试图告诉我如何去感受
This love is difficult, but it’s real
这段爱情困难重重 但是这是真实的爱
Don't be afraid, we'll make it out of this mess
不要害怕 我们会摆脱困难的
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 答应我吧
I got tired of waiting, wondering if you were ever coming around
我已厌倦了等待 我想知道你究竟还会不会回来
my faith in you was fading
我对你的信心也在减少
When I met you on the outskirts of town
当我在郊区遇到你
And I said
我说
Romeo, save me, I’ve been feeling so alone
罗密欧 快解救我吧 我一直感到很孤独
I keep waiting for you but you never come
我一直都在等你 但是你却没有出现
Is this in my head, I don't know what to think
我脑海里想的全是这个 我不知道还能想些什么
he knelt to the ground and pulled out a ring
他跪在地上 拿出一个戒指
And said
说道
Marry me Juliet you'll never have to be alone
嫁给我吧 朱丽叶 你不会再感到孤单了
I love you and that's all I really know
我爱你 这是我所知道的
I talked to your dad you'll pick out a white dress
我和你的爸爸谈过了 你可以挑一条白色的裙子
It's a love story
这是个爱情故事
Baby, just say yes
宝贝 答应我吧
Oh, oh, oh
We were both young when I first saw you
当我第一次见到你的时候我们都还很年轻
Say you're sorry
That face of an angel
Comes out just when you need it to
As I paced back
and forth all this time
Cause I honestly believed in you
Holding on
The days drag on
Stupid girl,
I should have known, I should have known
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around
Baby I was naive,
Got lost in your eyes
And never really had a chance
My mistake,
I didn't wanna be in love
You had to fight to have the upper hand
I had so many dreams
About you and me
Happy endings
Now I know
I'm not a princess, this ain't a fairy tale
I'm not the one you'll sweep off her feet,
Lead her up the stairwell
This ain't Hollywood, this is a small town,
I was a dreamer before you went and let me down
Now it's too late for you
And your white horse, to come around
And there you are on your knees,
Begging for forgiveness, begging for me
Just like I always wanted but I'm sooo sorry
Cause I'm not your princess, this ain't a fairytale
I'm gonna find someone someday
who might actually treat me well
This is a big world, that was a small town
There in my rearview mirror disappearing now
And its too late for you and your white horse
Now its too late for you and your white horse,
to catch me now
Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa
Try and catch me now
Oh, it's too late
To catch me now
你撑着雨伞 接我那次
已经足够我 记得一辈子
我懂後来你 不是不坚持
爱情本来就 没万无一失
泪水离开了 你的手指
那不如让它 留在这信纸
我想女孩子 最贴心的是
让爱的人选 结束的方式
我最幸福的事 当过你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩饰 让我们像当时拥抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置 是最幸福的事
可惜爱不是 童话故事
不能够永远 依赖着王子
再难过其实 只剩两个字
我怎麽忍心 为难你解释
我最幸福的事 当过你的天使
趁鼻酸能掩饰 让我们像当时拥抱最後一次
最幸福的事 吹蜡烛时你总为我许愿的手势
为挚爱的人 在左边心口保留位置 是最幸福的事
那一阵子有你 美得不像现实
多高兴每一幕 都微笑着静止
我最幸福的事 牵着你的日子
一段爱从开始 即使分开我们都对彼此诚实
最幸福的事 对那片海用力大喊永远的样子
想得起的事 那天和你傻笑着认识 是最幸福的事
幸福从我手中溜走了，我握不住也握不紧。
是我的粗心以及一切的一切，让我现在这么样的难过。
你的眼中不会有我了，我知道。
你不会再像以前那样关心我了，我知道。
你不会再像以前那样哄我了，我知道。
你不会再像以前有那样温柔的眼神了，我知道。
我们的故事都变了，不是吗？
开头写的如此无头绪，就连结尾也不可以变漂亮点吗？
曾经的“幸福”，是我一厢情愿哦？
再顾虑我都快疯了。
顾虑，成了我肩上的包袱，压得快喘不过气。
是我一手造成的，对不起。
就算不曾喜欢，也都算了。
曾经感觉幸福就好。
爱，悄悄走了。
幸福，悄悄走了。
多完美的爱， 也有缺口， 然而， 爱 见了底 在流血了。。。 爱 可以简单吗？ 爱的底， 究竟有多深？ 爱， 枯了。。。 。。。
Thursday 26 March 2009
Unknown
Problems comes, time to settle... ...is not about avoiding or else all of these problems becoming endless....
Time to think, what is the right way...trying hard to find out answers and wondering why that so, but nothing... ...
Time to learn, is not about ignore, is about to learn confront it and don't to do things that can't even convince you.
Family are the best supporters and best advisers too, share your thoughts and feelings. They might not able to help but they are able to give suggestions.
Future is uncertainty, but is significantly to plan; is not about waiting day coming without planning. Be carefully, what is your desire? Bear in mind, every decision is not joke and simply, think before do it ......
Obstacles always there but how to settle it and is about skills and wisdom. Don't lying to oneself, be truthful.
Feeling always guiding us about directions, but, unless the feeling is gone away from you. No ideas what's wrong, is this oneself wanted?
God is the one who is planning us, nothing failure done by him. But, human being differently... ...
Seeking is less helpful sometimes, or, stay cool and think about it before actions... ...
Praying hard is one of the solutions then........
Time to think, what is the right way...trying hard to find out answers and wondering why that so, but nothing... ...
Time to learn, is not about ignore, is about to learn confront it and don't to do things that can't even convince you.
Family are the best supporters and best advisers too, share your thoughts and feelings. They might not able to help but they are able to give suggestions.
Future is uncertainty, but is significantly to plan; is not about waiting day coming without planning. Be carefully, what is your desire? Bear in mind, every decision is not joke and simply, think before do it ......
Obstacles always there but how to settle it and is about skills and wisdom. Don't lying to oneself, be truthful.
Feeling always guiding us about directions, but, unless the feeling is gone away from you. No ideas what's wrong, is this oneself wanted?
God is the one who is planning us, nothing failure done by him. But, human being differently... ...
Seeking is less helpful sometimes, or, stay cool and think about it before actions... ...
Praying hard is one of the solutions then........
Thursday 12 March 2009
Two days cover up
A Short Conversation
Classmate N: Are you ok? you looks pale...
Momo : Yes, i still ok. Did i really looks pale?
At this time, Classmate Y also has some talks
Classmate Y: I agree too. Recently you looks listless and really pale. What's wrong with you?
Momo : Apparently so? (she smiles)
Classmate Y: What's wrong with you? sickness? Why don't see doctor?
Momo : Don't worry and i will be fine.
She smile with all responds!
A Night without Tears
Finally, there is a night without tears. Guess, it is a good start then. The night pretty awake and watched drama without any thoughts. Guess what?! God is listening to her, because the next day morning woke up with a cool day. Weather is changing from hot and warm to cooling days.
Marketing Class & Perception
Selective Perception Process of Perception had been taught at the Marketing class last night. This remind me, 'Perception' that i saw somewhere not long while (Sigh~~!!) There was a cartoon also showed by lecturer, even worst. It stated "Why we'll never understand each other?" This is a depth thought topic between male and female. Is that really about selective perception? Is that apply to relationship as they've used in marketing practices in order to understand consumer more?
L.O.V.E
Quoted from somewhere noted that "If love is becomes painful,its time to let go and save your life,but just keep in mind.If love is true,pain is never a reason to let go."
Strongly agree with the statement!!
Useless Tears
Almost 2am now, is chatting with a dear friend C. She is doing all right still but only few problems with her husband. That's what i worry most about her. But, it is good and she gonna be strong as she still need to protect her baby girl. Genetic of Mother, guess so!
Nice to catch up with her since left m'sa, but useless tears won the game. It only 24 hours, and cried again. Feeling so empty, so pains, so lose... ...Missing so much, so much, so much.... 心很痛，很思念，很迷失，很想痛哭。。。 。。。
Dearest God,
请赐予他和他家人力量，不论面对任何的难题，都迎刃而解。祝福和赐福一切的困难，我愿交托于您，洗净一切一切的罪恶。。。 这乃是奉基督耶稣圣名而求的，阿门。
Classmate N: Are you ok? you looks pale...
Momo : Yes, i still ok. Did i really looks pale?
At this time, Classmate Y also has some talks
Classmate Y: I agree too. Recently you looks listless and really pale. What's wrong with you?
Momo : Apparently so? (she smiles)
Classmate Y: What's wrong with you? sickness? Why don't see doctor?
Momo : Don't worry and i will be fine.
She smile with all responds!
A Night without Tears
Finally, there is a night without tears. Guess, it is a good start then. The night pretty awake and watched drama without any thoughts. Guess what?! God is listening to her, because the next day morning woke up with a cool day. Weather is changing from hot and warm to cooling days.
Marketing Class & Perception
Selective Perception Process of Perception had been taught at the Marketing class last night. This remind me, 'Perception' that i saw somewhere not long while (Sigh~~!!) There was a cartoon also showed by lecturer, even worst. It stated "Why we'll never understand each other?" This is a depth thought topic between male and female. Is that really about selective perception? Is that apply to relationship as they've used in marketing practices in order to understand consumer more?
L.O.V.E
Quoted from somewhere noted that "If love is becomes painful,its time to let go and save your life,but just keep in mind.If love is true,pain is never a reason to let go."
Strongly agree with the statement!!
Useless Tears
Almost 2am now, is chatting with a dear friend C. She is doing all right still but only few problems with her husband. That's what i worry most about her. But, it is good and she gonna be strong as she still need to protect her baby girl. Genetic of Mother, guess so!
Nice to catch up with her since left m'sa, but useless tears won the game. It only 24 hours, and cried again. Feeling so empty, so pains, so lose... ...Missing so much, so much, so much.... 心很痛，很思念，很迷失，很想痛哭。。。 。。。
Dearest God,
请赐予他和他家人力量，不论面对任何的难题，都迎刃而解。祝福和赐福一切的困难，我愿交托于您，洗净一切一切的罪恶。。。 这乃是奉基督耶稣圣名而求的，阿门。
Wednesday 11 March 2009
爱你是我一辈子的幸福
The third days from 8th March to now, the feeling more calming and tears stop a while since morning, but arching are still.
She be aside still no matter what making him lost the point at this point. She is patient with it.
The exam that she attended yesterday and hoping not to be worsen. She is not confident with it at all. From now on, she stands firmly with what her decision and work hard with heaps of assignments follow by now. She believes God has positive answer with her as she found it and why this is her decision.
She is not a loser, and she won't give up with it. Time will prove it so.
爱你是我一辈子的幸福，不论如何艰辛，事实胜于雄辩。不是固执，不是不服输，而是执著，而是爱情。
She be aside still no matter what making him lost the point at this point. She is patient with it.
The exam that she attended yesterday and hoping not to be worsen. She is not confident with it at all. From now on, she stands firmly with what her decision and work hard with heaps of assignments follow by now. She believes God has positive answer with her as she found it and why this is her decision.
She is not a loser, and she won't give up with it. Time will prove it so.
爱你是我一辈子的幸福，不论如何艰辛，事实胜于雄辩。不是固执，不是不服输，而是执著，而是爱情。
Tuesday 10 March 2009
God has a positive answer
人在碰到困難時，很容易會沮喪。
不過，無論受到折磨或者痛苦，都不用因此失去信心，
因為神一直在我們心裡面做著奇妙的工作。
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad.
But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives,
even in the midst of pain and suffering.
記著：當下一次你的小木屋著火時，
那可能只是神美妙恩典的表 徵而已。
Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground
it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.
在所有我們所認為負面的事情，神都是有正面答案的。
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,
God has a positive answer.
你說：「我累了。」
神說：「我讓你休息。 」(太11:28-30)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
你 說：「沒有人愛我。」
神 說：「我愛你。」 (約 3:16 & 約 3:34)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34)
你說：「我做不下去了。」
神說：「我的恩典 夠你支持下去。」
(林後 12:9 & 詩 91:15)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
你說：「我想不通。」
神說：「我引領你前行。 」(箴 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
你說：「我做不到。」
神說：「你什麼都做得到 。」(腓 4:13)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
你說：「我不配。」
神說：「你配。」 (林後 9:8)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
你說：「這麼做不 值得。」
神說：「做了，你馬上就會覺得 值得了。」 (羅 8:28)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)
你說：「我無法原諒自己。」
神說：「我原諒你。」 (約壹 1:9 & 羅 8:1)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
你說：「我是窮苦的。」
神說：「我供應你一切所需。」 ( 腓 4:19)
You say: "I'm poor"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
你說：「我害怕。」
神說：「我所賜給你的不是膽怯的心。」 (提後 1:7)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
你說：「我常常在擔憂、受挫。」
神說：「放下你的重擔，我為你承擔。」 ( 彼後 5:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
不過，無論受到折磨或者痛苦，都不用因此失去信心，
因為神一直在我們心裡面做著奇妙的工作。
It is easy to get discouraged when things are going bad.
But we shouldn't lose heart, because God is at work in our lives,
even in the midst of pain and suffering.
記著：當下一次你的小木屋著火時，
那可能只是神美妙恩典的表 徵而已。
Remember, next time your little hut is burning to the ground
it just may be a smoke signal that summons the grace of God.
在所有我們所認為負面的事情，神都是有正面答案的。
For all the negative things we have to say to ourselves,
God has a positive answer.
你說：「我累了。」
神說：「我讓你休息。 」(太11:28-30)
You say: "I'm too tired"
God says: I will give you rest (Matthew 11:28-30)
你 說：「沒有人愛我。」
神 說：「我愛你。」 (約 3:16 & 約 3:34)
You say: "Nobody really loves me"
God says: I love you (John 3:16 & John 3:34)
你說：「我做不下去了。」
神說：「我的恩典 夠你支持下去。」
(林後 12:9 & 詩 91:15)
You say: "I can't go on"
God says: My grace is sufficient (II Corinthians 12:9 & Psalm 91:15)
你說：「我想不通。」
神說：「我引領你前行。 」(箴 3:5-6)
You say: "I can't figure things out"
God says: I will direct your steps (Proverbs 3:5-6)
你說：「我做不到。」
神說：「你什麼都做得到 。」(腓 4:13)
You say: "I can't do it"
God says: You can do all things (Philippians 4:13)
你說：「我不配。」
神說：「你配。」 (林後 9:8)
You say: "I'm not able"
God says: I am able (II Corinthians 9:8)
你說：「這麼做不 值得。」
神說：「做了，你馬上就會覺得 值得了。」 (羅 8:28)
You say: "It's not worth it"
God says: It will be worth it (Roman 8:28)
你說：「我無法原諒自己。」
神說：「我原諒你。」 (約壹 1:9 & 羅 8:1)
You say: "I can't forgive myself"
God says: I Forgive you (I John 1:9 & Romans 8:1)
你說：「我是窮苦的。」
神說：「我供應你一切所需。」 ( 腓 4:19)
You say: "I'm poor"
God says: I will supply all your needs (Philippians 4:19)
你說：「我害怕。」
神說：「我所賜給你的不是膽怯的心。」 (提後 1:7)
You say: "I'm afraid"
God says: I have not given you a spirit of fear (II Timothy 1:7)
你說：「我常常在擔憂、受挫。」
神說：「放下你的重擔，我為你承擔。」 ( 彼後 5:7)
You say: "I'm always worried and frustrated"
God says: Cast all your cares on ME (I Peter 5:7)
《溫柔》（還你自由版）
Off the light, turn it on with full screen and click on HQ version. Calm down yourself and turn speaker slightly louder, this song really meaningful and nice
阿信唱這首《溫柔》（還你自由版）。每次到了間奏，隨著鋼琴伴奏的“獨白”一直醖釀到整個band進來的“撕吼”，現場燈光刹那照亮了地球，整個心都被撕裂了…突然間，全世界，只剩下音樂。
我深深的着迷，深深地体会。。。 尤其在独白那段：“如果有一天你对我说，你要离开我，我想我不会强求，我也不会再挽留，只因为我所能留给你，最好，最美的，也是最后的温柔， 你会听到我跟你说，我给你自由，我给你自由， 我给你自由，我给你全部全部自由。。。。”
心情很平静，虽然内心很痛，在呐喊。。 。 可我明白，付出的爱，不求回报，我会安静地等待。。。
阿信唱這首《溫柔》（還你自由版）。每次到了間奏，隨著鋼琴伴奏的“獨白”一直醖釀到整個band進來的“撕吼”，現場燈光刹那照亮了地球，整個心都被撕裂了…突然間，全世界，只剩下音樂。
我深深的着迷，深深地体会。。。 尤其在独白那段：“如果有一天你对我说，你要离开我，我想我不会强求，我也不会再挽留，只因为我所能留给你，最好，最美的，也是最后的温柔， 你会听到我跟你说，我给你自由，我给你自由， 我给你自由，我给你全部全部自由。。。。”
心情很平静，虽然内心很痛，在呐喊。。 。 可我明白，付出的爱，不求回报，我会安静地等待。。。
Monday 9 March 2009
Tears & Pains
Heart pain and stomach pain altogether to keep these on...
傻妹woke up with tears in pain worst even and not yet get any answers to encounter all these, convince pains go away...
Faith in love might not belonging to anymore; the more effort in but pains while harvest...
Dear God,
Where are those strength, energy, and faith? they all run away without ways to get them back. She has been prayed hard and strive for all difficulties while encounter them all along, even went to wrong way and tried to get herself back. Is punishment?
Please provide wisdom and strength, she is mostly collapse by these. Let's to set pains and tears free, follow with cheerful life for her.
No matter what is the actual plan, what she should deserve for, and she won't to be given up ...
Please blessing her in the way of healing, or even faith healing. She decided that to keep each episodes and store them in the deepest of heart, and waiting to come with the dramatic changes. She rigid her belief, love as she believes god will bring her back to what she strive for all the way. This is not a silly but is conviction.
Pray in Jesus' name
傻妹woke up with tears in pain worst even and not yet get any answers to encounter all these, convince pains go away...
Faith in love might not belonging to anymore; the more effort in but pains while harvest...
Dear God,
Where are those strength, energy, and faith? they all run away without ways to get them back. She has been prayed hard and strive for all difficulties while encounter them all along, even went to wrong way and tried to get herself back. Is punishment?
Please provide wisdom and strength, she is mostly collapse by these. Let's to set pains and tears free, follow with cheerful life for her.
No matter what is the actual plan, what she should deserve for, and she won't to be given up ...
Please blessing her in the way of healing, or even faith healing. She decided that to keep each episodes and store them in the deepest of heart, and waiting to come with the dramatic changes. She rigid her belief, love as she believes god will bring her back to what she strive for all the way. This is not a silly but is conviction.
Pray in Jesus' name
Endless ...
又是三月，但一切的一切还有转机吗？一切的一切都归于零，那个从封闭的门渐渐敞开，不顾一切的投入，然而又一次次的受伤，难道只是另一个的考验吗？
不该真的不该开启那封闭的门，很痛很伤，泪痕不断不断划过。。。 心犹如万箭穿心，很刺痛。。 这一路以来的坚持，是对的吗？即使他人一路以来的不祝福，做了不该的本分，都坚持自己的那当初接纳的爱。。。
难怪人人都说承洛都是没保障的，只有这傻妹一路以来保持着这信念，还奋不顾身呢，结果付诸流水。。。 。。。 还惹上一身伤。。。
好不想放手，可时候已到，不得不放。。。 这是属于过去式了没？若是？傻妹还是希望， 即使那过去还是一个可实现的梦。。。真好笑，三年又是三月。。。
搵左甘累，得左一个吉(Cantonese) 是吗？
心如潮水，很澎湃，呼吸会疼，心抽蓄多一秒。。。。。。
The past wish to be a dream still, the present is really unknown, the future is uncertainty and unrealizable
Those prays were hopeless and gone. What is Faithful?? What is promises?? What is belief? Could i switch back to past rather get through these shits?
好心放手，好心分手，应一早放开我，不至于深陷泥沼，无法自拔。。。 。。。
不该真的不该开启那封闭的门，很痛很伤，泪痕不断不断划过。。。 心犹如万箭穿心，很刺痛。。 这一路以来的坚持，是对的吗？即使他人一路以来的不祝福，做了不该的本分，都坚持自己的那当初接纳的爱。。。
难怪人人都说承洛都是没保障的，只有这傻妹一路以来保持着这信念，还奋不顾身呢，结果付诸流水。。。 。。。 还惹上一身伤。。。
好不想放手，可时候已到，不得不放。。。 这是属于过去式了没？若是？傻妹还是希望， 即使那过去还是一个可实现的梦。。。真好笑，三年又是三月。。。
搵左甘累，得左一个吉(Cantonese) 是吗？
心如潮水，很澎湃，呼吸会疼，心抽蓄多一秒。。。。。。
The past wish to be a dream still, the present is really unknown, the future is uncertainty and unrealizable
Those prays were hopeless and gone. What is Faithful?? What is promises?? What is belief? Could i switch back to past rather get through these shits?
好心放手，好心分手，应一早放开我，不至于深陷泥沼，无法自拔。。。 。。。